A Self-Love Alchemy Ritual for Reclaiming Power, Wisdom & Wholeness
Failure Is Not the End—It’s the Fire of Your Becoming
Let’s break the spell right here, right now: failure is not something to fear—it is something to fully embrace & honor.
In our American modern culture, failure is demonized. We’re taught to hide it, fear it, or use it to shame ourselves. But if you’ve ever tried to learn something, or truly grown, transformed, or awakened—you’ve failed at it at least once. Probably more than once. Probably many times.
The truth is: failure is part of your mastery. Part of your wholeness, and yes even your higher self makes mistakes. It's part of your soul’s evolution, its the whole reason for why we came to this earthly plane in the 1st place, to intentionally and sometimes not so intentionally fuck up and learn from the experience.. It’s how you learn, how you rise, how you become. And if you’ve failed? Congratulations. You’re doing it right. Get excited because this is how you get the most out of life. How you live a life without regrets.
Self-love that doesn’t make space for failure isn’t self-love—it’s self-policing or self monitoring. This is learned behavior most likely trained into you from childhood. Are you tired of running old programming that does nothing but take your joy and keep you exhausted? Great, keep reading.
Why Self-Love Must Include Shadow Work
If you’ve followed me for a while, you know I don’t do surface-level positivity. I teach self awareness that reaches the root without shame always. And real self-love? It must make room for shadow work lest you spin your wheels and never break through to the place you really want to be.
Shadow work is the process of facing the parts of yourself that have been silenced, shamed, or separated from your conscious identity. The “not good enough” voices. The perfectionism. The fear of messing up. These voices are born from systems of control—monarchy, fascism, patriarchy, capitalism, sexism, colonization, and racism—that told us we are only as good as we are useful or present a certain way that only fits into the tiniest whitewashed boxes that never allow room for joy or authenticity. I reject that notion, no my dear friends we are all meant to be living in our freest expression of who we are always living in our truth. And yes sometimes it is necessary to be messy, sloppy, and silly. Because things are messy before they are how we would like them to be.
But you were not born to be useful or some version of perfect that was projected onto (most likely without your consent or in some cases knowledge) you. You were born to be divine.
When you fail and start to spiral, those old voices often get loud. But those voices are not your truth. Your truth is that you are worthy because you exist. Your soul is whole, even when your plans don’t work out. Your value doesn’t disappear when something falls apart.
A Real-Life Example of Radical Self-Compassion
Let me tell you a story.
The other day I was bleaching my hair. I had to do it twice because the bleach I used wasn’t strong enough, and it just wasn’t lifting. The second round still didn’t give me the results I wanted.
Now, in the past, I might have panicked. Freaked out. Reached for a box dye to “fix it,” even if it would’ve damaged my hair.
But this time, I paused. I breathed. And I said to myself:
“This is good. I’m learning. This is growth in several areas”
That’s not to say I made it perfect the next time—I might not. But I gained experience. I now know what works for my hair. And that’s valuable. That’s growth. That’s alchemy. It is ALL about your mindset and perspective.
The difference wasn’t the bleach—it was the way I spoke to myself, not choosing to give into the old patterns. What made the difference was not saying yes to the shame spiral that can be so seductive and comfortable because it is known and practiced in the past.
Because you see friends it does not matter what exactly happens what actually matters is the way that we meet whatever it is we are being faced with in happy successful situations and in our failures.
You Are Not Failing—You Are Integrating
When things don’t go as planned, it’s not proof that you’re broken, behind, or somehow incapable. It’s feedback. It’s wisdom. It’s contrast—showing you what doesn’t align, so you can move toward what does. *When you can remember try to see it as an opportunity of valuable feedback this will start to shift you into a much more positive mindset more flexible and able to move closer to the state of being that you desire, and ultimately build your confidence. It's a muscle and you gotta allow yourself time to build it. Cuz Baby Rome was not built in a day.
Contrast is the curriculum of self-discovery. You cannot know who you are without it.
Failure doesn’t mean “you should stop.” It might just mean, this isn’t the way you were meant to do it. Or you needed this experience to prepare for what’s next. If you think about it often our failures will take to the places we really wanted to be in the 1st place. Experiencing contrast is wholly necessary to your souls growth.
There is no shame in trying again. Or changing your mind. Or walking away. Or starting over.
In fact, it’s sacred.
A Ritual for Alchemizing Failure & Reclaiming Your Power
This is not therapy. This is not a DSM-5 approved strategy. This is a ritual for your soul. This is a practice in self sovereignty, a practice rooted in spiritual alchemy. This is about calling your power back, reconnecting to your truth, and reclaiming your worth beyond performance or perfection.
Next time failure visits your doorstep:
- Stop.
- Breathe deeply into your body.
- Soften your jaw, unclench your fists, drop your shoulders.
- Say aloud or in your spirit:
“I call all of my power back to me from all that is, to me, here and now—cleansed and cleared—for my chosen distribution and absorption or use as I see fit. So mote it be.”
This is my personal practice. I repeat it to myself often, when laying down at night to sleep, and through out the day as I feel the need. You are invited to use this exact invocation, or change it to fit your personal journey. Speak it in your own words. Let it become a living mantra that anchors you in your sovereignty. This isn’t about ego. This is about essence. This is about returning to your truth, every single time you forget. It's about giving yourself permission to live fully in alignment, and not beating yourself up when you notice that you are out of alignment.
Failure Is Just a Frequency—You Can Change the Channel
Failure is not your identity. It’s just a moment. A frequency. A vibration. And you have the power to tune into something new. Never forget friends you are the one in charge of your life, you are the decider. It's time to take full ownership of your growth.
When failure comes, try asking:
- What did I learn?
- What was I shown?
- What do I know now that I didn’t before?
- How can I love myself through this?
You don’t need to pretend it didn’t hurt. Feel your feelings friends, just remember they are passing visitors, don't let the emotions get trapped in your body. You just need to stay connected to your wholeness while the emotions alchemize.
That’s what makes you powerful.
The Invitation
If this resonated with you, let it sit in your spirit. Let it integrate. Don’t rush to the next thing. Come back to this ritual when you need it. Print it. Post it. Speak it out loud.
And share it with someone else who might need a reminder that they are still divine—even when things don’t go as planned.
You are not broken. You are becoming.
You are not failing. You are forging.
You are not lost. You are learning to lead yourself home.
You’re doing it, love. You’re already doing it. Never forget because you exist you are always already enough, Full stop.
✨ Sound off in the comments below:
Tell us how this made you feel. Share a story about a time you turned failure into wisdom. Or just say what’s on your heart. Be honest. Raw. Reflective. All answers are good answers.
This is a space of reclamation, not perfection. Let it be real. Let it be you.