A Conversation About Consent, Boundaries, and Being Seen
Let’s get one thing straight: I don’t do performative support.
I don’t do “tag a friend to win.”
I don’t do algorithm games.
I don’t play small, and I won’t be used by people who only want to be seen next to my name without ever pouring into my world.
You want to support me? Show up. Share my work. Buy my work. Speak my name with love and honesty. Write a review for my work that can be shared. There are so many options I could keep going but you get the idea…..
Otherwise, leave me out of it.
Because this is bigger than social media.
This is about consent. respect. reciprocity. boundaries.
This is about not being used.
📲 When the Tag Isn’t a Compliment
Recently, I started noticing a pattern: people I barely know — vendor acquaintances, distant mutuals, parasocial “friends” — tagging me in giveaway posts.
Not because we’re close.
Not because we support each other’s work.
But because they needed a body to tag. A name. An extra comment to meet the contest rules.
And my name? Was the one they picked.
I don’t play that game.
Every time it happened, my body said no.
It’s subtle, but real. My energy is sacred. My name is not a coupon code.
You don’t get to use me for gain if you haven’t earned my trust.
If we don’t have a real connection — don’t tag me.
If you’re not sharing my work or speaking my name when it matters — don’t use it when it benefits you.
🧠 Consent Is for Everything. Always.
Consent isn’t just about intimacy. It’s about energy. access. presence.
It’s about asking yourself:
“Am I engaging with this person in a way that respects their sovereignty?”
Because it shows up in the small moments, too.
In the comments, the tags, the unsolicited messages.
In how we assume certain people will just… understand, or be cool with it, or not mind.
Let me be very clear:
I mind.
I care.
I’m watching who respects me and who tries to quietly siphon off what I’ve built without offering anything real in return.
✨ Consent Is Spiritual, Too
Consent isn’t just about what we allow others to do to our bodies.
It’s about how we’re witnessed, spoken to, tagged, touched, or referenced.
It’s about our mind, body, and spirit — and how they’re honored in every interaction.
Consent is spiritual. Consent is physical. Consent is mental.
When we give it, it’s an act of sovereignty.
When we withhold it, it’s an act of protection.
When others ignore it, it’s a rupture — one that tells you everything you need to know about their respect for reciprocity.
🔥 When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them
Memorial Day weekend. I was at a friend’s house — nothing fancy, just a cozy gathering of good people, talking and vibing in the kitchen.
And then this one individual — let’s call him T — walks in and immediately starts ball-tapping the men in the room. One by one. Giggling. Smirking. Acting like it was funny.
It was not.
The discomfort was immediate. People froze. A few left the room.
One of my close friends — clearly not okay with it — spoke up and said, “Hey — not cool.”
T just laughed: “Oh, they like it. It’s fun.”
I looked him dead in the eye and said:
“It’s called consent.”
He shrugged. “Whatever. They’re fine.”
And I replied:
“Thank you for showing me who you are.
If you don’t understand consent, you’re not a safe person.”
Because that’s what it comes down to:
Some people will test your no.
They’ll brush past it. Laugh it off. Pretend they didn’t see the line.
And it’s on us — those of us reclaiming our safety and our worth — to say:
“You saw it. You crossed it. And now you’re out.”
🧙 Sovereignty and Reciprocity Only
People like T, and people who tag you out of convenience or obligation, operate from the same root dysfunction: a disregard for boundaries.
They don’t actually want connection. They only want to have the illusion of proximity, one of the oldest tricks in the book. It’s about control for them.
They want proximity. They want visibility. They want access — but not accountability.
They treat your energy like it’s free to consume.
But I am not available for that.
And neither should you be.
💎 The Boundary Is Clear
If you want to support me:
- Share my work because it genuinely speaks to you.
- Speak my name because you honor what I do.
- Tag me when it’s real, relevant, and reciprocal.
Do not tag me in your giveaways, contests, comment baits, or clout chases.
Do not assume I want to be included in something I never consented to.
Do not treat my digital presence like free advertising.
This space — my body, my name, my energy, my art — is sacred.
And I only build with people who know how to act accordingly.
🌱 For Those Who Are Ready
You don’t to earn your worth.
But if you want to be in my space, you do have to earn my trust.
I’m not for everyone — and that’s by design. To be wholly authentic is to be polarizing, we know this.
I’m building something real. Rooted. Reciprocal.
And if you’re here for that — welcome.
If not — you know where the door is.